Lecture 17: hip hop version featuring Plankton

Yo I’m plankton, what? Phyto-Plankton, what? I said zoo-Plankton, what? Allow me to explain

I’m all over this lake, from the greats to the greats, glacial or tectonic—never make a mistake
You know lake Baikal, in Russia, yeah I’m up there too, biggest lake on Earth and I’m ownin’ it fool!
You got a pool in your livin’ room?—I live in a pool! driftin’ with the currents makin’ all the fish drool
Turnin’ sunlight into food you know I’m livin’ for free, Leibig’s Law of the Minimum can’t hold me!

Redfield ratio you know it’s got my back— 106-16-1 and I’m primed to attack!
Nutrient enrichment (background: “Eutrophication”) gimmee the C the N the P you know I’ll multiply son!
I’ll take 10 percent attenuation and I’ll go for a run, lake’s pimpin’ phosphorous? now we’re gettin’ things done!
Livin’ large in the nutrients spring and fall, when the winds mix it up and we’re havin’ a ball!
(livin large in the nutrients fall and spring, seasonal wind honeys gimme that phosphorous bling!)

Background repetition: “C-N-P: carbon-nitrogen-phosphorous; C-N-P yo without you know it’s a bust”

I like to chill on the surface, optimize intake of light, till predators come and I gotta take flight
Alter my depth distribution throughout the course of the day, surface to sixty meters—never givin’ fish play
Of course I give my love to the trophic cascade, but these introduced species ain’t makin the grade
Planktivorous fish, yo you haters should die! But I’ll adapt under pressure and I’ll never say why.

‘Bout increase in Nitrogen comin’ from farms, you’d think It’d be gravy but it’s causin’ me harm
With too much N only some species win, and that alters the community structure my friend
Farmers with their fertilizer livin’ in sin, and the shrimp fishermen getting’ all riled up again
So listen and trust cause my word I keep, yo I’ll smack a farmer while he’s lyin in sleep!

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